It's definitely true that nobody wants to be told what to do all the time. On the other hand, it's also true that (at least) once in a while we all like telling other people what to do, especially when they actually do it. It's important to be clear here whether this is a case of one person wanting to completely dominate another, or two people clashing because each would prefer to be in charge. I'm going to assume, however, that you've actually been pushed pretty hard by someone who is making great demands of you, and isn't giving much back in return. That puts strain on any friendship, because the enjoyment it brings becomes one-sided and vaguely parasitic. You're probably starting to wonder why it is that you two are even friends at all.

I think we can benefit from some good old country wisdom, aptly expressed on bumper stickers everywhere through the adage: "Ass, gas, or grass: nobody rides for free." Truly, these are words that stand the test of time. If somebody wants to tell you what to do, they'd better be contributing. Interpreted broadly, it means that at the heart of any good relationship is reciprocity. Give a little, get a little. Your friendship will stop being meaningful, enjoyable and worthwhile if you no longer receive anything positive from it. In the end, you will simply feel abused and drained instead, in what should be a positive, fun, and supportive friendship. Now, I don't think a successful friendship lies in keeping an exact tally of who contributes what and pays more -- in fact, it would be really dysfunctional and selfish to do so -- but even without any accounting at all, the point comes where you feel that you aren't receiving nearly as much as you invest. I think it is at this point that you have to begin to wonder what it is that you are getting out of your friendship with this person? When you spend time together, do you ever have fun? Do you joke and laugh and have a good time together, or is it joyless and oppressive? Or do you find that it's a mixed experience of the good and the bad that makes your time just fun enough to keep bothering? Or has it just become habit to see this person?

I think the answer you settle upon will largely determine the course of action you can take. If the friendship no longer proves to be any fun at all for you, then it may be time to examine it critically for any hope of reconciliation. Perhaps it's just time to cut your losses. If you still have a lot of fun except for the control issues, then there's probably much more room for negotiation and jolliness. Still, no matter what you decide, I think the time has come to have a serious talk with your friend. Continuing to save up the irritation and resentment that is building up inside you can only lead to an explosion that, most likely, will hurt you both. I admit, I like talking. I'm silly enough to believe that most problems can be sorted out if people can just sit down and discuss them rationally. Of course, I'm also old enough to know that people aren't really all that reasonable or intelligent, and most of us aren't willing to give up too much of what we already have just so that we can compromise and live together happily. We're messy, dumb monkeys, and we don't like to share. You might decide that talking is hopeless and stupid, but I still recommend giving it a try. You can always just tell your friend that you aren't happy with the situation as it stands, and that you would really like more input and more control in the ways you spend time together, especially if you're the one who makes it all happen. I would hope that your friend could also try to explain to you why he or she is acting this way, and how he or she interprets your own behaviour. Maybe from your friend's perspective, it simply looks like you never know what you want -- or maybe he or she interpreted your lack of protest as a sign that you enjoyed things the way they were. You'll never really know what's going on until you each get a chance to have your say.